If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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