Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i need some magic done to my vagina
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
