You made me cry and you don't even care
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize