if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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