Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
