It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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