im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
