hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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