Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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