My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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