i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
return my video game
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
