did you get engaged???
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
