plz talk dirty to me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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