so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
