so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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