She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
