Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I skipped work to stalk him.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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