You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
