i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
