forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
