Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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