My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize