jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
