Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
