Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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