so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
