guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
