I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
