The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
