So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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