i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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