Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
