Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
