just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
