we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
