the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
