there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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