Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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