my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
