I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
