Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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