What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
