Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
