yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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