Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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