took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
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