you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
