Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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