Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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