i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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