I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
