How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
A+ Viking dick
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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