it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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