shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
