my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think I won the penis lottery.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
