I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
