Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
