Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
