We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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