You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
