Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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