this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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