Buhtt sex?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
