I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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