Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize