it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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