finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
